Rather Have Loved

I’ve been a little MIA for a month!  But, in my defense, I’ve been working on getting the album all squared away!  So, because of that, you are going to get a few posts right in a row!  Mainly because there are three older songs on this album that I haven’t written about on here!  So, without further ado, Rather Have Loved.

I once had a parent of one of the students that I poured into considerably ask me, “How do you do it?  How do you pour into kids and then just say goodbye and watch them leave?  You won’t have contact with them anymore and you just gave part of your soul away.”  I didn’t really have a answer to that.  One reason was it was because it was my 5th year of teaching, and I was somewhat staying in touch with most of the youth group kids who I had built relationships with..I hadn’t seen many of them move on.  The other was because I don’t know what the appropriate response would be.  But, I think that is why God gave me this song.

A few years later, one of those same kids I had been close to and poured into reached a point where she walked out of all communication.  A lot is still unknown and unresolved.  Though the song was written from more of a joyful tone: seeing friends off to different opportunities and the parting being pleasant, I think the song rings true regardless.  Whether the parting is hopeful or painful, I would rather have loved, rather have enjoyed their presence in my Life, rather have poured into them, rather be left with the memories I have than no memories at all.

RATHER HAVE LOVED
One year ago you could have asked me; would’ve told you all my plans
Not sure what happened but I’m left here in the aftermath, and
Turns out life is not a script and love can take a toll
On a heart, on a soul

So here I am with pen in hand; how I could reminisce
Of looking back upon a future I could not have written
Despite all of my intentions
Here’s where I am, and what I know

Rather be unsure; I’d rather be the dreamer
Rather have loved and lost and had to count up the cost
Than to have never loved at all
I’d rather be tired; I’d rather be the long shot
With my head in the dust, knowing I’m not giving up
No matter what’s to come
I know I’d rather have loved

Memories can fade like castles in the sand
But with a bucket and a spade, we can begin again
Given the chance to make a difference, I know I’d take it
Here’s where I am and what I know

Rather be blind and have the faith to dream
Than these eyes that see in front of me
What’s in front of me is not what I’m looking for
Rather a heart that’s worn upon my sleeve
Than these walls that hide how alone I feel
Though I feel it, I’m still begging You for more