Displacement

Here at the start of December, I am experiencing repeat pain from the nerve in my left leg.  For those who missed it, during February of last year I herniated a disc in my lower back which sent excruciating pain down my left leg.  It took away my ability to run or do much of anything physical.  I ended up in the ER and with several days away from work on narcotics and appointments for blood work, an MRI…the whole works.  I really enjoy my morning runs and they help start my day well.  Also, they just make me feel more energetic.  When I can’t run (like 6 months of the past year and currently), it is a pretty big blow to my heart and mind, as well as my body.  I penned the following song in the spring when I wasn’t allowed to run, stand still, sit, or walk above 1 foot per second.  I may be able to walk now, but the song still rings true.

Displacement

I never wanted life to be easy; I just want to make it count
So in this prayer of desperation, I’m just starting to think out loud
I was never in control anyway, it’s just easier to admit on days like today
When I don’t see a sign of improvement

I just want to run but I still can’t walk
Can I lean into You and find I still am strong?
The road ahead stretches far
But the promise I need is You with me to where You are

I don’t always get what I ask for because where’s the faith in that
You tell the widow keep asking; it just doesn’t make much sense
I was never in control anyway, it’s just easier to admit on days like today
When my prayers don’t have answers

This thorn in the flesh is wearing me down
But my weakness is Your finest hour
At least that’s one thing that’s clear to me now
I don’t know the fullness of what’s down the road
But You tell me You’ve walked it before
In Your strength I will move on