Our God is a refuge strong

Though the mountains fall into the sea

We won’t fear when the end draws near

Though the earth disappear for we believe in the refuge of the Lord Almighty

Come and see the works of the Lord Almighty

Who makes wars cease and brings an end to our broken things 

He lifts His voice, the earth melts and kingdoms that rise are kingdoms felled

Our help is He

The God who was and is our ever-present fortress

There are streams that make glad the city

With golden streets where the river of life is flowing free

Jacob’s God is her strength, He will save her at daybreak 

Our help is He

Who is not God of the dead, but God of all the living

Be still and know that He is God

He will be exalted up

Over all the earth at the trumpet sound

And in every nation when all knees bow 

To confess the Lord of all

Is Jesus Christ our stronghold

Oh man, friends. This song almost didn’t make the record. I thought there would be only 12 songs on The Fulfillment – but here we are at the end of the day and God blessed the record with one more song! The record definitely would have been lacking without a song from the Sons of Korah!

It turns out that at the beginning of the summer of 2025, Nathan and I were headed out on our honeymoon (we took it about a month after we got married due to the teaching schedule) and we volunteered to write a Bible Study lesson on Psalm 46. Later that summer, as I got to stop in on my last youth group trip with the Greenville FMYers, they decided to use the same Psalm for their canoe trip. And in the midst of that, God blessed me with this song and it made it to studio in July before the record released in the fall.

This Psalm is just incredible. It talks about Jerusalem in ways that only the prophets and Revelation do – there is a stream that makes glad the city…there is no river there, friends. Hezekiah reroutes water to the city – before that there is nothing. After that, I wouldn’t call it a river, but I’ve never been there so I can’t really say. But, revelation says there will be a river – with the tree of life at both banks! God is certainly the God who saves His city and His people.

Throughout the song, natural disaster (waters that rage and the earth disappearing beneath the waves) and enemies (waging war) threaten God’s people and God’s city. But, the Psalmist says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the waters rage and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea…” I wanted this song to be upbeat because it is about all these really intense things that for all of the world’s logic – we should fear. But, when God is our refuge and we consider our eternal destiny, we don’t have to.

The song was coming along rather nicely with some catchy verses that were constantly stuck in my head and all my besties’ heads, but I didn’t have a bridge. I also knew I needed the psalm to find its fulfillment in Jesus to be on the record. I also knew that my husband’s pet peeve is when people quote “Be still and know that I am God” and they don’t finish the quote and say, “I will be exalt among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth.” Which, he has a point. How can we be still and have no fear? We have to know both God’s character – He is a REFUGE in trouble and how He is going to act on behalf of His great Name and for His people – He WILL BE exalted up. Even if that isn’t how we see the story now, that is how the story will end. And in that we can be still and have no fear. The Lord brought to mind Philippians 2 – where Jesus will be exalted up that at the Name of Jesus every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory and praise of God the Father. And with that, the fulfillment bridge was born:

“Be still and know that He is God. He will be exalted up – over all the earth (first exultation in Psalm 46) at the trumpet sound and in every nation (second exultation in Psalm 46) when all knees bow to confess the Lord of all is JESUS CHRIST OUR STRONGHOLD. Every Psalm finds its Fulfillment in Jesus.

Such a fun song to be given, friends. It’s out now so I hope you are loving it! In the words of a good friend, “It goes hard. It goes so hard!”

The world, it shakes; God, keep me safe for in You I take refuge; I take my refuge. I say to You, oh Lord, “You are my Lord, I have no good apart from You, apart from You”

So why would I drain my cup chasing after other gods? When all I could ever want is in Your presence now and forever

My heart is glad/I will rejoice with all that I am/My body rests secure/Living in a land of decay/I’m not abandoned to the grave/I live to glory evermore in my Lord

I set before my eyes, You, oh Lord, for You are my delight; You alone, You alone

Instruct my heart in the night and make known to me the path of life. Surely the boundary lines have fallen for me where I know You will be

I know that I will not be shaken – for the Messiah whom I hope and glory in descended to the Pit to raise me up with Him and now this joy is mine: to live at His right hand hand

Psalm 16 is such a beautiful psalm. And here I am – blogging about one of the last two songs to make it onto this fulfillment record. In the spring of 2024, I planned a retreat centered around this song with two of my dearest friends (one of whom is now my husband and the other of whom is now one of my biggest promotors – thanks guys!) and they were so kind to listen to many video takes of me attempting to capture this song. But, how easy is it to see the fulfillment of Psalm 16 found in Jesus!

Psalm 16:9-10 “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices. My body will also rest secure because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead nor will you let your faithful one see decay.” This is quoted by Peter in Acts 2 of being true not of David, who died and was buried, but of JESUS – David’s greater son! Through HIM he makes known to us (and David!) the path of life.

Some of my favorite memories of this song are how others impacted both the writing and the confidence in what the Lord gave me about this Psalm. Two tidbits – my friend Bekah was the one in charge of organizing solo time on our retreat. I was so struck by her focus on the “I will not be shaken” verse. As I was contemplating this, I realized I am shaken a lot by what happens in this world. But, if my eternity is secure – why should I be? I think this is part of what David is getting at. So, the first line was born – “The world it shakes, God keep me safe” – we have to acknowledge that the world does shake. There is no security found in anything here. But, we can have security! Eternal life is secure in Him! Because He went down to the pit and was raised again!

Another favorite memory was after the song was written I was playing it for a dear friend I do ministry with in Alaska. I was a bit self-conscious about the line “Surely the boundary lines have fallen for me where I know you will be.” I wasn’t sure it fit. And the psalm says, “Surely the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” I know that line is many people’s favorites and I wasn’t using the same wording that any translation would use. But, when I played that line for my friend – as she was listening intently with her eyes close – as soon as I sang that line, she broke into a huge grin. After the song she said, “That line – surely the boundary lines have fallen where I know you will be – I LOVED that. I was waiting for you to say something about pleasant places – but any pleasant place is WHERE HE IS!” And I knew the Lord had written that line in the song and it still captured the heart of what David was saying.

So, I hope this song is a bop that encourages you as well as it does me. I need these lyrics often when I feel shaken – to remember that the Lord has me in a place where I don’t need to fear what happens in this temporary life. And He is with me and will bring us to be with Him where He is! Surely the boundary lines have fallen for me where I know He will be! Praise Him!

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good

Give thanks to our God, the Lord of lords

To him alone who does great wonders

Who spread the earth upon the waters

It is His love that endures

He remembered us in our low estate

And freed us from our enemies

With a mighty hand and outstretched arm 

He showed us not even Pharaoh’s hard heart

Could put an end to His love

Our God’s love is a forever love

It does not change like shifting shadows

Here today in its fullest form, yet not fully known

Our God’s forever love

In the wilderness, His love endured

Each trial and test He led us through

Whether forty years or forty days,

Our God remains forever the same

And only His love can overcome!

Give thanks to the God of heaven – His love endures forever

To Him who shows His compassion – His love endures forever

To us His chosen possession- His love endures forever

Whom He rescued from the oppressor – His love endures forever 

Give thanks to the God of gods – His love endures forever

To Him Who sent His only Son – His love endures forever

To reconcile all He draws – His love endures forever

To Himself because of His great love 

THAT ENDURES FOREVER

Going into the season of finishing up the Psalm record (which will be called, The Fulfillment, by the way), I knew it would be fun to have a Psalm like Psalm 136, with the repeated refrain. There really is no other Psalm like it even though there are plenty of psalms with repetitive themes. What better refrain than “His love endures forever!” Because it does! I got home from church one day and the chorus was in my head. Even though God’s love endures forever – I’m confident we haven’t grasped the fullness of it – even though it is available to us today in Jesus.

By God’s grace I finished the chorus that day and started working on some verses. They came pretty naturally from the Psalm. Much to my husband’s dismay, I did not fit Og into the song, but most of the rest of the content did. It was fun to fit all the OT imagery in there. The Israelites were able to claim without a doubt that His love endures forever because He rescued them from those who enslaved them. And, I’m a huge fan of the third verse hinting at Jesus in the “forty years or forty days” line.

Then, I was stuck for several weeks on the bridge. And I still didn’t know how I was going to get the “His love endures forever” refrain in the song. I actually had given up hope on that and figured it just wouldn’t happen. But, then I got the bridge riff stuck in my head. Unfortunately, I got no sleep the night before my birthday, but in that night God gave me most of the words to the bridge. The first half of the bridge continues the themes of the psalm and the second half launches into how Jesus is the fulfillment of the song. Because, only in Jesus will we be fully rescued and redeemed. And, it is only through Jesus that God can remember our sins no more.

One of the coolest parts of this song though is that I got to take a whole crew of my Bible study peeps down to Nashville. We crammed like 18 of us in a small studio room and made a little BSF choir. They are the ones singing “His love endures forever.” And what a sweet thing. Our hearts need to remember in the midst of all that happens in this world that the devil uses to tempt us to think: “He doesn’t love you or if He does, His love isn’t great enough to save you or last through all that you do to Him.” No, in Jesus, HIS LOVE ENDURES FOREVER. When we accept that love, He freely lavishes it on us. Forever. And, what a sweet thing that so many in my life who have been God’s reminder to me that this is true – these will be the same people singing that truth in my ear (and yours if you give it a listen) on the record.

Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord, O my soul

O Lord my God, You are very great/You are clothed with splendor and majesty/You ride on wings of the winds You generate/Your Spirit alive in the water, wind, and flame/O my soul, praise, the One who wrapped the earth in His rain/Whose thunder makes for a brighter day/May the glory of the Lord endure forevermore/May the Father and the Son rejoice in what they’ve done/To reverse the curse of Adam for all who long to be reborn/From the dust of a new creation, we rise up and praise the Lord/O Lord my God, You created all/Everything we see, every creature large and small/Not one has a need You don’t already know/And the power to meet each need is Yours alone/O my soul, praise, the One who gives and takes away/Who hides His face to renew His grace/May the glory of the Lord endure forevermore/May the Father and the Son rejoice in what they’ve done/To reverse the curse of Adam for all who long to be reborn/From the dust of a new creation, we rise up and praise the Lord

O Lord, how many are Your works in all the heavens and the earth/The donkeys drink while the songbirds sing and Leviathan frolics in the sea/You, O Lord, sustain the hearts of men through gifts of oil, wine, and bread/And though sinners vanish in the end – this is for Your glory!/It’s all for Your glory!

Wowzers…I’ve been MIA on the blog here, friends. But, for good reason. Those of you who know me personally know that I was married in May and am moving states here at the end of the summer. It was pretty impossible to work full time, invest in a relationship more beautifully time consuming than one with any other human, write and produce music, and keep up a blog. So, the blog definitely fell off the radar for a while, as did writing music for a few months. But, I give you all of that to say: I’M BACK. And, those details play into the start of this song!

This song is from Psalm 104 – a beautiful Psalm of praise, which, at the beginning, struck me as a creation Psalm. It has imagery of God’s providence for all creatures and His establishment of the earth on its foundations. A good friend threw this Psalm out there for me to write about. It’s so cool I couldn’t deny the request, but it is the most difficult song I had to write for the record. It took me over a year.

When the Holy Spirit had given me a first verse and was committed to try to write it, but was extremely stuck, I asked a good friend to do homiletics on the passage and talk through it together (side note: if you don’t know what homiletics are, they are cool and you can ask me). That good friend happened to be the same good friend who had helped me with Psalm 19 the prior summer, who also happened to ask me on a date that day. And now he’s my husband. His name is Nathan, and he’s pretty great :). Not “very great” though – that’s reserved for God and Psalm 104 talks all about that. But, I digress.

Nathan brought to my attention that he didn’t think this Psalm was about creation, but about the flood. It talks about the earth being formed and the earth being set on foundations and THEN in verse 6: “You covered it with the deep as the a garment.” So, then, this seemed like it was more like a “recreation” Psalm rather than a creation Psalm. And because of the words in the psalm that say “you set a boundary they cannot cross; never again will they cover the earth” (doesn’t that sound like the flood?!?) – the pre-choruses finally had the space to take shape. “Oh my soul, praise, the One who wrapped the earth in His rain, whose thunder makes for a brighter day!” So, we see in Genesis 6, the earth is so corrupted that the Lord chooses judgement of the whole earth by floodwaters and preserves Noah and his family. Only through this judgement did the world become new.

Without this view, the verses at the end of the Psalm seem out of place. Verse 34-35 say “May my meditation be pleasing to him as I rejoice in the Lord, but may sinners vanish from the earth and the wicked be no more. Praise the Lord, O my soul.” But, when we see in them in the light of God’s judgement bringing about a restored creation – they make sense! And, the greatest fulfillment of this will be at the end of time when God fully judges the earth and the heavens and the earth pass away entirely, and He makes a new heavens and a new earth. With that in mind, how easy is it to see Jesus as the fulfillment of this Psalm?

If you still aren’t convinced, here are some other noteworthy verses from the Psalm: “All creatures look to You to give them their food at the proper time. When You give it to them, they gather it up; when You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When You hide Your face, they are terrified; when You take away their breath, they die and return to the dust. When You send Your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth – May the glory of the Lord endure forever!” This too points not to creation, though our God is Creator, but to recreation. When He sends His Spirit, we are renewed. Wow. And, living on this side of the cross, we know that new life only happens through faith in Jesus – and His Spirit that renews us and gives us life comes to those who confess their sins and Jesus as Lord. So, the chorus was born: May the glory of the Lord endure forevermore/May the Father and the Son rejoice in what they’ve done/To reverse the curse of Adam for all who long to be reborn/From the dust of a new creation, we rise up and praise the Lord.

That is most of what I have to say – you’ll just have to listen for yourself, but one other tiny fun spot – much to my friend Haley’s rejoicing (she is the one who asked me to write the song), Leviathan got name dropped in the bridge 🙂

Can’t wait to share all these Psalm songs with you soon, friends!!

The heavens are telling of the glory of God/ The moon the stars, the sun, declaring what He’s done/Day and night, night and day, without words they say, they say as the champion His ways:

The Law of the Lord is pure/His testimonies sure/By them is Your servant warned/In keeping them great reward/The Word of the Lord is true/His commandments old, yet new/Sweeter than honeycomb/Giving life to the soul

Still who can know the whole of their wayward soul? Forgive my hidden faults and keep me from all wrong/May these words and these thoughts be pleasing to you oh God/My God, my Redeemer and my Rock

The Law of the Lord is pure/His testimonies sure/By them is Your servant warned/In keeping them great reward/The Word of the Lord is true/His commandments old, yet new/Sweeter than honeycomb/Giving life to the soul

I’ve seen Your grand design/I’ve seen Your Law give life/For the Word that saves is none but Jesus Christ/ The eternal Son to rise/Fulfilled in Him we find

The Law is pure!/His testimonies sure!/Making the simple wise/Illuminating the eyes/His Word is true!/ Forever old, yet new/ The Law of the Lord is life evermore!/It’s pure and true! Sure and new!/Sweeter than honeycomb/Giving life to the soul

So, this is a Psalm 19 song. I’ve always been so intrigued by Psalm 19. Why would a psalmist combine his wonder at the heavens and His adoration of the law in the same Psalm?

Well, the biggest discovery I made while studying this Psalm and then writing the song was this train of thought: Creation tells of God’s glory. But, it does so in such a way that we see it (and should acknowledge it – Romans 1). The Law reveals God’s glory – and we get to experience pieces of this as we follow it and learn how to live. And, God would get all the glory if those existed and we weren’t drawn to Him – but, as it is: He uses those to draw us to him! Wow!

This song will go on an album I am putting together from the Psalms, and on that album I aim to reveal the truth that every Psalm finds its fulfillment in Jesus. This Psalm was baffling me until a friend pointed out that it was so interested to see that the Law gives life and refreshment in this Psalm, but Paul describes the Law as bringing death. But, it is the fact that we can’t follow the law that brings death – if we could we would have life. But, enter Jesus. The fulfillment of all the Law on our behalf. He is the Word of the Lord that refreshes the soul, brings light to the eyes, wisdom to the simple, etc.

It was so refreshing to be steeped in this good word that the Law of the Lord is HIS GOOD for us, not just some check list we have to try to maintain. And when we cannot maintain it, praise be to our God and Father who provided His Son to maintain it for us.

Amen and amen!

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your Name/We bow in reverence for Your ways are not our ways/May Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven/And teach us today, our Lord, to pray, as our Savior prayed

Our Father in heaven, give us our daily bread/Your Word is our manna here in this wilderness/May our hungry souls learn to feed upon the Source of Life everlasting/As we trust Your will is to fulfill our deepest longings within

Our Father in heaven, forgive us our debts/As we forgive our debtors their trespasses/ May the depths of our Savior’s love for us incline our hearts towards repentance/And forgiven much may our response be to love like Him

Our Father in heaven, lead us in the right way/Lest our temptations entice us to stray/May the evil never overcome our Savior’s deliverance/ For Yours is the kingdom, the power and glory, forever Amen

I finished this song about a year ago and realized I needed to get it on the blog. It is the only hymn type song I’ve ever written and I can actually now say of one of my songs: it belongs in a worship setting.

I wrote this after attending a retreat where we focused on the Lord’s Prayer all weekend. The prayer, to be honest, was always very rote memorization for me. I learned it when I was young, and, depending on what church you attend, you may say it weekly! Because of that, it had gotten to the point that I didn’t think about the words I was saying – at least not very much.

After that retreat, I realized I wanted to write a song, and I had the opening line to the first verse, but even before the first verse ended, I realized I wanted it to be a hymn where every verse began with “Our Father, in heaven…” because that would remind me that each part of it is the Lord’s Prayer, and I can think of each piece of this hymn as I recite the Lord’s prayer: that He is in control of all things and we are to continually as for His will to be done. We are to be in a constant state of recognizing our need and dependence for His providence. We need to confess our sin, and be willing to recognize that confess and acceptance of His forgiveness should spark in us the response of forgiveness towards others. And, finally, in our struggle against evil, we should remember He is victor and rely on His power alone.

So much thought and Holy Spirit inspiration through His Word and His people went into this hymn and I’m privileged to sing it, and share it with you!

Felt the sadness like heavy rain/Saw it coming from miles away/Started running for the sun’s warm rays/But the rain overcame

What a silly thing/To think that I could outrun a storm/When inside of me/The lightning flashes and the thunder rolls/Long before a tear hits the floor

Are my emotions like ocean waves?/Ebb a moment to surge again/I tried to balance but the water’s to my waist/And the waves displace me

What a silly thing/To fear the feelings I cannot control/Who, by worrying/Can add an hour to the ocean’s calm/Or circumvent the dark night of the soul?

Awaken me in the garden /To pray with Thee through my sorrows/My flesh is weak, yet my spirit longs to be/A spirit of expectancy

Awaken me in the garden /To pray with Thee through my sorrows/My flesh is weak, yet my spirit longs to be/Willing to grieve 

Felt the sadness like heavy rain

Everyone has to write a sad song now and again, right? I think what makes this song interesting is that typically I (or I think other songwriters too) write sad songs in the midst of what they are going through. This song came more at the tail end of a season of sadness that had been about a year and a half long. Life circumstances had left me feeling lonely, and, quite frankly, I cried about it a lot. A few times to others, but most often by myself.

The first part of the song was written in the midst of the season, but I found I couldn’t write the rest of it. And, upon making my way out of that season, I found that on my way into the season, so much of my energies were focused on trying to not go down those roads. What I am about to say, I hope no one takes the wrong way and tries to dive into unwanted emotions (I think we are called to be joyful people!) But, I also think some things are meant to make us sad. God mourns over the hurt His people cause and the hurt His people go through. Jesus wept. And, Jesus, our forerunner and perfect example of living with all of these human emotions, did not try to circumvent them or the circumstances God the Father called Him to walk through. He saw the joy on the other side and endured both the circumstances and the emotions with them. Hence, the most powerful imagery in the song above is considering Jesus, in the garden, alone. He had asked his disciples to pray, and they fell asleep. Not only that, but he knew they’d abandon him in just a few hours. Yet, He chose the Calvary road.

If He can choose the Calvary road out of obedience to the Father, then certainly with the Spirit’s help we can choose to enter into seasons of sadness with grace. (The truth is, mourning will happen either way, most likely, whether we are trying to avoid it or not). And, we can place ourselves in a place of expectancy, like Jesus. We can choose to believe that the Father will deliver us out of it (even if by painful means), and He will use it for Christ’s glory and our good.

I pray that if/when this song is released, it can minister to your spirit too. Many blessings 🙂

Further Up, Further In

Lord, remember David and the oath that he swore from his throne/He said: “Why should the God of Jacob dwell in a tent while I’ve a palace of stone?/ No, I will not lay my head ’til my God has a place for His Spirit to rest!”/And so now within walls built my human hands, will You make Yourself a home?

Arise and come to us, Oh Lord our God/Inspire within our hearts this antiphon/”Come now in trust and in Spirit/Come worship our God where He is/Come further up, come further in”

Lord, for the sake of Your servant, remember the promise You made/You said, “If your sons keep my covenant, forevermore they shall reign”/Yes, light a lamp for David ’til all generations behold Your Anointed One/Lifted high upon Zion’s mountain bringing an upside down kingdom

Arise and come to us, Oh Lord our God/Inspire within our hearts this antiphon/”Come now in trust and in Spirit/Come worship our God where He is/Come further up, come further in”

We hear the music beckon to all who long to worship You/’Til not one was found within these sacred rooms/But now the chorus swells again for Your temple put on flesh/To seek out all those who could not enter in/So, let us follow Him/Further up and further in!!

Arise and come to us, Oh Lord our God/Inspire within our hearts this antiphon/”Come now in trust and in Spirit/Come worship our God where He is/Come further up, come further in”

So, this song is somewhat of a nerdy one. It is written from Psalm 132. Highly suggest you take a quick read! This psalm is a psalm of ascent. Jew would have sung it as they walked up to Jerusalem for their feasts. It is a Psalm commemorating David’s vow to the Lord to build Him a house, and the Lord’s returning covenant promise to build for David an everlasting house (of sorts…to build His family house). From David would come the promised Messiah. This Psalm also focuses on temple worship and God’s blessing to come to Zion’s mountain, the temple, Jerusalem, and all God’s people.

This Psalm is actually the first time I fell in love with how beautiful and interesting the Bible is. Verse 6 says, “We heard it in Ephrathah, we came upon it in the fields of Jaar.” What did they come upon? Words of praise calling God to visit His people and His people to worship their God in Jerusalem. Well, I found it interesting that Ephrathah is a region that I recognized: Bethelehem Ephrathah is the region David is from, and where our Savior was born. The fields of Jaar? This is where the house of Abinadab the priest was, where the ark was kept for a time? My mind was BLOWN when I realized their song called people from where the Presence of God was (the ark’s resting place before Jerusalem) and where the Presence of God would be (Jesus born in Bethlehem) to where the Presence of God is (at the that time, Jerusalem). Wow. [Side note: it also could be calling from where both the priestly line and kingly line where from and uniting them in Jerusalem, which Jesus also did. But like I said, super nerdy!]

However, that always blew my mind. I wanted to write a song about it, but it took a long time to take shape. And, it is hard to get that main idea across when in the current age of the New Covenant with no earthly temple – the Presence of our God is accessible all the time, to anyone who comes to Him through Jesus. Although, I think we could still stand to listen to the call to come into His Presence, because how often do we actually realize we have that privilege?

So my song became: “Inspire our hearts with this antiphon!” Antiphon is a song or a chant that is sung antiphonally, which means, call and response, or in a round. We want to continue to spur each other on to seek His Presence and come before Him. I believe that is also what the original song was doing when the Jews sang it on their way to Jerusalem – they were also beckoning the Lord to draw near.

The bridge speaks to Jesus. He is very evident in the Psalm, as the end references David’s descendent that will come triumphant and dwell in Zion. But, I have to imagine that for much of Jewish history, they were traveling to a Jerusalem where the temple was not in its former glory, it was occupied by enemies, or it was completely torn down. Where could the Jewish people go to encounter the Presence of the Lord?

When Jesus came, he said of Himself, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” He is the temple. He is the Presence of the Lord among us because he was fully divine. When love for the Father waned and the temple was full of false worship and there was none left to sing His praise, Jesus came and sought out His worshippers. Those in John 4 that he says “will worship Him in Spirit and in truth” and location doesn’t matter. We can follow His lead in what it looks like to worship the Father, anywhere.

To wrap up, I think we still have “somewhere to go” in our worship of God, it just may not be physically moving to another space! We have so much to learn about repentance and humility as well as what right exaltation of God looks like. So, hence the call to “come further up and further in.” Was that stolen from C.S. Lewis’s “The Last Battle”? Absolutely. But, they were also in search for the true Presence of their Savior.

There is a lot of layers there, but I hope it is nicely wrapped up in a song that shows Jesus to be the fulfillment of the Psalm!

At the end of a dead end road that the fears of the past are chasing us down/ No escape to the left, right, front or back/Yet our God has given us no reason to doubt/And he won’t start now

Behold the salvation of our God/ Be still and know He is our deliverance/Then rise up and be strong as you say to your anxious heart/Oh, oh, oh, oh, behold the salvation of our God

Paralyzed inside a room with no windows/But no lock on the door can keep our the grief/Did we witness the death of our only hope?/Or does blood in the ground water the seed that resurrects beginnings?

Behold the salvation of our God/ Be still and know He is our deliverance/Then rise up and be strong as you say to your anxious heart/Oh, oh, oh, oh, behold the salvation of our God

The Red Sea/The Upper Room/No way yet, but yet a way through/To the promised land/To the empty tomb/Our God, is there nothing You can’t do?

Behold the salvation of our God/ Be still and know He is our deliverance/Then rise up and be strong as you say to your anxious heart/Oh, oh, oh, oh, behold the salvation of our God

So, I was listening to a podcast about the exodus a few months ago, right before I released Album #3, on a Sunday morning. While I was in the shower that morning, most of this chorus came to mind, and I remember leaving for church thinking, “I hope that becomes a song, it’s pretty cool!” It is definitely very poppy, as I was producing a lot of similar music at the time, so it was catchy.

When I came home, it was still in my head and I started writing the first verse. And even though I don’t mention the Red Sea or the Exodus in verse 1, it is my hope that that is where the listener’s mind goes. I was trying to capture this moment of: what happens when we trust God and we think things are going a certain way, but all the sudden, following the path God has us on, we encounter a dead end. That is certainly what happened to the Israelites. It made me think of comparing it to the disciples after the crucifixion, but before the resurrection. Surely they knew they were following the Son of God, the Messiah, as Peter had exclaimed. But, now what? He’s dead. If He is still actually the Son of God, what does that mean for us? What are we supposed to do…where are we supposed to go? So, I took those two ideas and morphed them into one song. The disciples are verse 2, but I let you know that those are the places that you’ve been sitting the whole time in the bridge 🙂

The chorus comes from Moses’ words to the Israelites before they saw the way through the sea. (Exodus 14:13-14) “Moses answered the people, ‘Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'”

The podcast mentions that this is the first place in Exodus that the word for salvation is used. Joshua (and then Jesus) are both forms of that word. “The Lord saves”. So, behold the salvation of our God, both then and now! Hope you enjoy it!

In Between

36 and 17/Stuck somewhere in the in between/I’ve been holding out, not slowing down/I’ve been trapped inside/A ticking time bomb called my life/Cut the wires, oh, I’ve tried, but I’m locked inside

Strike a math and watch the time burn away/Counting years and watching my dreams fade

I can’t tell wait I’m afraid of/All I know is I don’t want to wake up/20 years down the road unable to trust Your love when I don’t have what I want

I’m in overdrive/Took the left lane to save some time/Now I can’t stop passing my life by with my foot to the floor

Hit the gas and watch the miles illuminate/How far I am from the plan I had made

I can’t tell wait I’m afraid of/All I know is I don’t want to wake up/20 years down the road unable to trust Your love when I don’t have what I want

What I want/But what do I want?

Will I still be here at 36 years of age still keeping score of all the people who have what I want, but oh, I want so much more/ Don’t want to be left here chasing the wind again/ I just want to be content/Whatever that means, wherever that is/Will you hold my heart until then?/Will you teach me how to press in?

Will you hold my heart until then?

Will you teach me how to press in?

So, this song is the last blog about the album A Fork in the Road that will release 3/23/23!! It wasn’t the last recorded, however. I feel like the story of its being recorded and the writing of it are both significant, but I’ll focus on the writing process. But, if you want to hear the other story, let me know. God’s hand was clearly in the recording process too!

If you know me, most of you know I’ve been in several weddings. Seven, actually. The first round of weddings took place after college and all my college friends were getting married. That is when I originally penned this song – the first verse and the beginning of the chorus are from that time. The idea behind the song was overall this feeling of being “left behind,” so to speak. All my good friends were having this experience, and I wasn’t. But, I was still 25 after all, and I trusted God with my future, so I wrote the song and was able to tuck a lot of the “why not me?” questions away and just keep moving on.

Then, two years ago, I was in another round of weddings after meeting several of my dear friends in STL through Bible study (BSF). This time, I’m processing some of the same thoughts…but it has been 8, 9, 10… years later. And sometimes waiting makes it harder to trust God. I’m thankful that there are stories in Scripture where others had to wait (Abraham, Jacob, the whole Israelite people..) and perhaps not all waited well. I still hope God creates in me a pattern of waiting well, but I’m thankful that moments of impatience don’t disqualify us from His care and love. (Thank you Jesus!)

So, the chorus used to read “I can’t tell what I’m afraid of. All I know is I don’t want to wake up 20 years down the road to find I haven’t changed at all. 20 years down the road and still the same.” Which, this is still true. And the first time I wrote it, it was from the perspective of: “I really hope my life circumstances change, and I’m not feeling like the only one left out, etc.” But this time around, realizing that not many of my circumstances had changed much, and I don’t feel like it is in my power to change them (I think it’s in His), I had to ask myself, what do I really want to change?

Several good friends let me talk over these lyrics with them, and I believe it was their help that led to some of the best lyrics. (And the Lord’s work through them, of course!) As I was mulling over these thoughts, God was gracious to show me that what I am really afraid of is losing trust in His goodness and the goodness of His sovereign plan for my life even after all this waiting. Because I felt like after more time had gone by, I should have a surer faith, not a weaker one. But, it certainly feels like it is a weaker one. So, the song tried to capture my desire to still want a trust in the Lord despite undesirable circumstances. The words were turned to “I don’t want to wake up 20 years down the road unable to trust Your love when I don’t have want I want.” Which is so true. I want my desires to be transformed to His desires, but even if those aren’t met, I still want to trust His love.

And, the end of the song turned from “I just want to be content, whatever that means, wherever that is keep my heart and my mind open” to ” I just want to be content, whatever that means, whatever that is, will You hold my heart until then? Will you teach my how to press in?” Because I want more than a heart open to possibilities – I want a heart that is seeking His will, His good gifts, His gifts of fulfillment and contentment, even when it is hard.

End of story is – whatever you are facing and waiting on God’s timing for, I hope when this song comes out, you will roll the windows down and sing with me that you long for the comfort of our God.